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The 'Castle Aaargh'

October 28, 2015  •  Leave a Comment

Castle StalkerThe castle Auuugggghhh! The Most Holy "Castle Aaargh" As seen in "Scene 36".

Castle Stalker

Argyll and Bute, Scotland, The United Kingdom

​Canon EOS Rebel

 

"The Castle Aaargh. Our quest is at an end! God be praised! Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou has ... safe... the most...!" (Interrupted by French)
- King Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, King of the Round Table, King of the Britons, Defeater of the Saxons, and Souvereign of ALL England.

Unfortunately I couldn't get a better picture, we had no idea we'd be driving right past the infamous castle holding the 'Holy Grail' made famous by the comedy troupe Monty Python. The castle is not quite the most imposing structure to be found in Scotland, but certainly does hold a piece of cultural significance to Scotland, the UK, and men who recite line after line of Python quotes.

You can actually tour the castle on a limited basis, information can be found on the Castles owner's website http://www.castlestalker.com/wp/visitor-info/

The Castle was first described by Joseph of Aramathea in Aramaic on the walls of the cave of Kyle Banorg, guarded by numerous deadly animators. It was carved sometime before the events of Scene 34 in the year 769 A.D. The simple inscription upon the wall stated "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spririt may find the Holy Grail in the Castle Aaargh"... He most likely died while writing it.​

But, oh come on. Who would bother to carve 'aaargh', he'd just say it.

But that's what's carved in the rocks.

Perhaps he was dictating?

Maybe he meant Camauuuugh? In France, I think?

Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall? Wait, no that's Saint Ives.

OOOOoooooohohoho!

No, no, Aaargh. At the back of the throat. Aaargh.

No, no, no. Oooooh as in surprise and alarm.

Oh you meant AAAAAH!

:Nearby:

There isn't much nearby, however, Scotland is a fairly small country and road travel is easy to plan day trips across the highlands. I suggest Either making plans to stay in Inverness or Oban (temporarily). Inverness is in the heart of Scotland within a few hours driving distance of just about everything; The famous castles, the lochs, the golf courses, and has some very nice restaurants and pubs. Oban is famous for it's whisky distillery and the nearby Jacobite ruins.

Loch Ness and Castle Urquhart are just a short jog to the East through the Highlands. While crowded, the loch and castle are well worth the touristy visit and looking for Nessie makes for great fun with children.

Kyle of Lochalsh is the gateway to the Isle of Skye, an amazing hiking ground for the physically active. The Highlands in general are a great place to stretch the legs and pitch a tent for a few nights. But, weather changes fast in Scotland and even mid summer it can be quite cold, and the midges are quite infuriating! If you've seen James Bond: Skyfall, you can see the midge flies tormenting the actors on film.
We were swatting flies all the way back to Inverness.

Oban is great for a short stay, but we were rather unimpressed. The restaurants are pretty good if you know where to look, but be aware that some pubs in town are actually primarily places to gamble and get a drink than to get food.

North, along the A85 at Dunbeg, is the ruined Jacobite Castle of Dunstaffnage. The Castle is actually very well taken care of, for a ruin. The grounds are well taken care of and has a small chapel ruin nearby in the forest.

McCaig's Tower is rather interesting to visit, but we didn't have a chance.

St. Columba's Cathedral holds a very prominent place in Oban along Ganavan Rd along Oban Bay.

North of Oban along Oban Bay, further down Ganavan Rd is Dunollie Castle and Museum. The Ruins are

:How to get there:

From Inverness

1: Travel West out of Inverness on the A82 (you will travel along Loch Ness!)
2: Continue West on A82 at Spean
3: After the Bridge, turn Left onto A828 to Oban​​​​
4: Castle Stalker is visible from the road on the Right at Portnacroish.

​​

From Oban

1: Travel North out of Oban on the A85
2: Turn Right onto the A828 at Connel before the bridge.​
​3: The Castle will be on the Left at Portnacroish

​​​

:When to go:

​When the French do not have control over the castle;
Also, when the police investigation of the Knights of Camelot's involvement in a murder has concluded.

Seriously, though. I would recommend Summer. Unless you like snow and cold rain, you might at least get a few warm and dry days March to September. Also, check Castle Stalker's website for visiting information.

 

Charles Jenkins; 
Emperor as dictated farcical aquatic ceremony in which some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at him.


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